It is odd how the strict, rigid and disciplined nature of our parents take a complete U-turn the moment a grandchild comes along. As humorous as it may seem, it is nice to have our parents, even more so, our in-laws provide a pamper-ish side of caretaking to balance our strict parenting methods our parents passed down to us. The problem arises once our in-laws start to undermine our authority as parents, associating our inexperience or different caretaking styles as being unfit and unworthy of taking care of the children.
If you happen to be the unfortunate soul that keeps getting trampled over by your in-law in this aspect, then here are 4 way on how you can handle your child’s over-pampering grandmother.
1. Listen & Compromise
As much as they could learn new caring methods from you, you could learn a thing or two from them too. Look for the middle ground or compromise on certain issues.
It is also essential that you hear their side of the story as well, and not be dogmatic about your ideas and methods. This would give you a better perspective on things and develop a healthier relationship with your in-laws as well.
Going for ice-cream after a long day at school instead of heading home and completing their homework wouldn’t hurt during a hot day.
In-laws tend to overindulge their grandchildren partially because they are unaware of the repercussions and the consequences of their actions. Sometimes it is best to show them rather than just telling them.
Although conversations of such nature may be difficult and maybe some minor strife may occur, it is a needful stepping stone towards a better relationship and your children’s growth in the future.
3. Patience and Gentle Reminders
You may have had a sit-down with your in-laws and laid out the rules on taking care of your children, but some changes tend to take time to fully manifest itself. Hence why, we need to be patient with our in-laws and not act with emotion and release our frustrations onto them, especially in front of our children.
It may get frustrating and difficult to stay composed and calm after constant reminders but rest assured, you will be sparing yourself the heartache and the guilt which will follow after your verbal lash out.
4. Open Sharing
We can’t expect our in-laws to read our minds, know our intentions and rationale with our child caring methods and vice versa, hence why, good and effective communication is the basis for cultivating a healthy relationship.
Regardless of whether it is about big issues or the nitty-gritty, it is important to communicate openly and set boundaries, just to ensure that your in-laws and you are on the same page. This will also prevent your children from trying to get their way with things with their grandparents after you’ve said “No”.
One tip to ease the tension during a chat with them is to have some tidbits prepared and maybe some cool drinks to set the tone, and we at HappyFresh have just the thing.